My mum, an update

I thought I should give an update on my mum. It’s fair to say that this past week has been the hardest our family has faced. My mum wasn’t just mother to myself and my brother and sisters, she also stepped in to look after her brother and sisters after her own mother died tragically young. She is the linchpin of our family and will be irreplaceable.

On Monday last week the doctors stopped all treatment. The damage done by the haemorrhage was extensive. Meanwhile the cancer continues to spread. She had been on steroids in an attempt to reduce the swelling in her brain caused by the haemorrhage, but they weren’t doing any good so the medical team withdrew them. They also removed the saline IV she had been on. That was her sole source of fluids as she has been nil by mouth since the previous Tuesday. She is on a pump for painkillers and sedatives and has been unresponsive for several days.

The doctor said on Friday that he felt the end was not far away, but she’s still obstinately clinging on. I went to see her today (Sunday), but just as it was on my previous visit, she didn’t seem to be aware that any of us were there. My sisters and my niece were there too, there is a constant stream of family at her bedside, which is a great testament to how loved she is, but I don’t like to stay long. I know my mum, and I know she’d want us to give her peace. The good news is that she doesn’t seem to be in any pain or discomfort.

My mum has now gone a week without any water, she has had no food in almost two weeks. Every morning I wake up I check my phone to see if there’s any news, wondering if today is the day. Every time I get a notification on my phone I think – could this be it? – but my mother is a deeply stubborn and resilient woman. She’ll go when she’s good and ready, but given how things are, even she can’t defy the inevitable too much longer.

Naturally with all this going on I’m sure you’ll appreciate that I am finding it difficult to concentrate on other topics. But I know many of you will have been wondering what’s going on, and it’s also useful to post something in order to keep the comments section manageable. I’ll be back when I can, In the meantime, your messages of support are much appreciated.

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